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I'm crazy, I know. And sometimes, THAT drives me nuts.

Kelan Ba Nagiging Bangag?

How exactly do you know when you're bangag? Bangag-ness is usually an overdose of stress from too much workload and pressure. Here's a short list you might want to check to see if you've reached this condition of temporary insanity.

1. Sa sobrang daming ginagawa, nakakalimutan mo nang kumain. Seryoso ito, as in eating your routine meals just doesn't cross your mind. Parang hindi siya bahagi ng pang-araw-araw na gawain mo sa buhay.

Short anecdote lang. The other day I was jam-packed with org activities--I had to attend to four different org tasks: volunteer work for OAA (assist in the submission of requirements of college application forms), edit grad writeups for Aegis, help out and participate in the culminating activity of ACTM's Host Hunt (congrats, Nina!), and finally, do front-of-house and ushering for Ateneo College Glee Club and Ateneo Chamber Singers' Coram Deo. (ANG KONTI, DI BA?) Well, that's beside the fact that I had Philosophy and Theology classes in the afternoon. Anyway, yun nga, I did the Aegis thing right before Philo (1.30 class) and while walking to SECA209A, I said to myself, "Ba't parang nahihilo ako?" (Actually, I was also feeling a bit nauseaous that time.) Then I realized, goodness, I FORGOT to eat lunch.

Sobrang torture ito, dahil pagkatapos ng Philo ay direcho sa Theo class ako. After meeting with Fr. Dacanay, my knees were literally wobbly and my head! Oh, it hurt!

Now that I'm writing about this I remembered what my high school Eco teacher said (Sir Mac), "Kapag minsan, sagabal ang pagkain." Quite true, I think. It's not like you intentionally forget to sustain yourself with food, it's just you're way too busy to even remember that you skipped a meal.

Back to the list.

2. There's something really wrong when you find yourself free and available and doing nothing, even just for a few minutes.

3. Coffee is your magic potion, your only chance for survival. But with each passing day, you wonder why your usual teaspoon serving is not enough to keep you awake anymore. (Nagiging immune?)

4. Just thinking of the fact that you have a lot to do stresses you already.

5. In relation to #4, when you have so many things to do, and you're feeling more and more desperate in thinking of the fact that you have so much stuff to be done, you just have this unexplainable desire to just drop everything, forget about all your responsibilities, and walk away to relax and revive yourself.

6. You've never been anywhere else except your house, your classrooms, and your University library. For months, you've never been to the malls.

7. Alternating every other 10 pages of a 100-paged handout with 10 pages from another reading is your form of rest from one subject to the other. (Ten pages of History for 15 minutes, then 10 pages of Theo for another 15 minutes.)

8. Because of too much reading, the muscles in your eye area are starting to twitch uncontrollably.

9. The last movie you've seen is on its way to having DVD copies.

10. You have no idea what to say every time your friends ask what you think of the latest episode of this sitcom or that telenovela--because you don't get to watch TV anymore.

11. For no apparent reasons, you catch yourself on the verge of an emotional breakdown. Uncontrollable tears suddenly stream your eye bags-covered eyes, even if there is no concrete reason for you to do so.

12. During sleep, you're jolted awake by nagging thoughts of having to do this school work, attend to that org event, reserve a venue, or text this person ASAP. Your to-do list is your alarm clock.

13. In the case that #12 doesn't apply to you, you get all enraged and furious when the people in your house don't wake you up when you told them to do so.

14. Studying in your bedroom, the BED is always oh so inviting.

15. You feel the need to wear sunglasses while working hours and hours with the computer because of eye strain.

16. Sleep, for you, is heaven. It is the ultimate climax.

17. Writing your to-do list and planning your schedule takes approximately under an hour.

18. Your to-do list is never one-paged. Always a minimum of two sheets of paper.

19. While engaging in your daily conversations, you experience mind lag--parang sa computer na mabagal mag-read. Sometimes, you even forget the previous statement you just said. ("Ano nga bang sinabi ko?")

20. Falling asleep in class is almost always involuntary. Actually, falling asleep anywhere is possible, given that you can rest your back on it (sa chair, sa bed, sa poste, sa jeep).

21. Speaking of involuntary, because of coffee overdose (in an attempt to keep yourself awake), you find yourself becoming jittery, combined with involuntary muscle spasms and pseudo-heart attacks.

22. You've tried all possible ways to keep awake: do push ups during in-betweens, jump up and down, dance around, eat potato chips, walk up and down the stairs, even try on different outfits.

23. Your mobile phone is very essential to your survival. It is the first thing you check upon waking up in the morning.

24. Without your daily organizer and to-do list, you will surely miss one task for the day. Your planner is your life.

25. Your reputation as a fashionista is blemished by what you're wearing right now: extremely big shirt (your brother's), week-old pants, stinking hair, pambahay tsinelas, the works. Walang tatalo sa ganitong getup, samahan pa ng wala-akong-pake attitude and anong-tinitinging-tingin-mo dyan look, SAAN KA PA?
20 August 2005 at 9:36 PM

Bangag

Tama yung ine-edit kong writeup ng isang senior (for the Aegis yearbook). You know you're an Atenean when 'HELL WEEK' LASTS FOR A MONTH AND NOT--NEVER--JUST A WEEK.

Hay. Tulad ni Rica, I am currently not grade conscious. She captured my exact sentiments: "Hello world of un-grade-conscious-ness."

The ONLY funny thing is... I SEEM TO LIKE THE STRESS. It's an excitement I can't fully comprehend.

All along, akala ko normal ako. Or so I thought.

Haha.

To the B, to the A, to the N-G-A-G!
What have you got?
CLANG!!!
18 August 2005 at 10:34 PM

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